Posted by: janineplusbrianequals | October 21, 2009

you gotta know your market…

Last night I had a lengthy conversation with a woman looking for a New Church. She’d tried Baptist, Catholic, LDS and some others and hadn’t found what she was looking for. The salesman in me is all Rev-ed up by this point (pun intended*). She found the Swedenborgian church in the phone book and wanted to ask about what makes us different.

She had some information that indicated that perhaps we were a cult?

“Oh no,” I assured her. “Not a cult. We worship the Lord Jesus Christ, not Swedenborg.”

She next wondered if we perhaps were involved in meditation or psychedelic drugs which assist in meditation practices.

“Well, no. We don’t discourage meditation, but we don’t normally do it in our worship services and we certainly don’t encourage drug use.”

“Oh.” She sounded a little disappointed. “I was kinda feeling bored with the previous churches I’d tried. I was hoping you were maybe a cult and possibly involved in creative drug use.”

“Ahh…er….can I tell you what makes the New Church New?”

Why wasn’t I ever taught to use “some people think we’re a cult” as one of our talking points?


* It just occurs to me that people usually say, “no pun intended” when they are trying to draw attention to their brilliant pun.



  1. lol

  2. Just tell that woman about Swedenborg’s various trips and discussions in the spiritual world – it totally sounds like he was tripping out on something, she might enjoy that!

    But yes, who knew the whole cult-like thing could be a pitch?

  3. There is nothing more fun to read than human interaction stories, welcome to the virtual world of blogging!

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